Angel of Mercy (The Fallen) Read online

  I hadn’t thought of it quite like that before. “I’m sorry,” I said softly, taking a thoughtful sip myself. “What do you do with yourself all day, Adam? I assume you don’t sleep either, right?”

  “You’re trying to picture me in bed aren’t you?” He waggled his eyebrows at me and I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

  “I’m trying to have a normal conversation with you. You do remember what that’s like, don’t you?”

  “It sounds vaguely familiar, I don’t recall it being all that much fun though. How about we find some other way to keep ourse {to sizlves entertained?” His hand slid up my leg and I yanked my feet off of his lap.

  “Hands!” I yelped, trying not to spill my drink.

  “I’m well aware of where my hands were,” he smirked.

  Why did he have to be such a smarmy bastard? I knew he was capable of having a regular conversation, was he trying to make me hate him? “For crying out loud Adam… can’t you turn it off for a while? I’m trying to figure out if I should hop a boat to Borneo and chang my name to Mick to avoid an army of angels who are ticked off at me for stealing Sam’s Grace.”

  Adam chuckled at that before seeing that in a small way I was completely serious. “Hey, that’s not gonna happen.” He sat up closer to me, reaching out to lay his hand on my shoulder.

  “No?” The corner of my mouth tugged up into a smile at that reassurance.

  “Nope. If they decide to come after you, running off to Borneo won’t help you, there’s no place on Earth you can hide.”

  I bit down on the inside of my lips as I fought back tears, not wanting him to see me cry. “I think you should go.” Pulling away from his touch, I drained the rest of my drink and sat forward on the couch to pour another.

  “Hey, I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah, I’ll bet.”

  “Mercy, it’ll be alright…”

  “How can you say that? You saw how things went with Nathanael tonight. He was royally pissed off and he thinks that you’re responsible for doing this to me. Why did you do that by the way? Take the fall {Takff and for Sam like that? And what did he mean by asking if you had learned your lesson last time? I thought you said nobody’s ever been given the Grace like this before?”

  “I’m sorry, that officially puts you over your quota of questions for the night,” Adam smirked, snatching the bottle from me and refilling his own glass.

  “I’m just looking for some answers.”

  “And naturally you think I owe you these answers?”

  “How else am I supposed to figure out what’s going on? You know what? Forget it, I’ll call Sam. I bet he’d be happy to talk to me all night long.” I gave him a mocking smile. “Sa…”

  “Okay, okay, I’ll answer your stupid questions!” Adam interrupted, his hand clapping over my mouth. “But you have to answer mine too then, deal?”

  My eyes narrowed at him over the hand pressed to my face. What questions could he possibly have that I could answer? Still, it sounded fair to me, and I nodded, replying after he released me. “Deal.”

  Relaxing back against the couch again with my drink, I turned to face him. “How come you didn’t want me to call Sam?”

  A careless shrug was given. “He won’t be happy to hear Nathanael came down. No sense in worrying him over nothing.”

  “It’s not exactly nothing though, doesn’t he deserve to know?”

  “Sorry, my turn. Why did you tell Nate he could take the Grace from you?”

  I blinked at the question, not having expected it. “It seemed like the easiest way to settle things. If it’s that big of an issue why not just give it back? I mean it’s not like I need it or anything. So my next question is, why didn’t he take it back from me then? If it’s causing such a big ruckus.”

  “He can’t. See, the man upstairs isn’t all that big on free will. When you’re taking orders from { orBig Kahuna you don’t have a lot of leeway to decide something like that on your own. He’s probably up there right now giving a report on what was said and he’ll have to wait and see what comes down the pipe.”

  “Could he even take the Grace away? Could you?”

  A shake of the head was given. “No, the Grace can’t be taken by force, but you might be able to give it. I don’t know… I’ve never heard of anyone freely giving their Grace up before.” He stopped to think that over for a moment. “Still, it’s forbidden. We’re not meant to have more than was given us by God. It’s supposed to keep any of us from getting too powerful like you know who.” He pointed downwards and I assumed he meant the devil.

  “So, no angel is allowed to amass more than their share of Grace.” That made sense I supposed, after what had happened with Lucifer.

  “Yep.” Adam took another drink. He was making short work of the bottle and I wondered if angels could get drunk. “How long have you been a bartender?”

  “About three years. I started working at the club as a waitress but I like tending the bar better, less handprints on my ass,” I grinned. “My turn. What did Sam do to get cast out of heaven?” I said I wouldn’t ask Sam again, I hadn’t promised not to try and find out at all.

  Adam hesitated, leaning back against the cushions. “That might be better left to ask him.”

  “Then why were you cast out?” I countered.

  “On second thought,” he took another drink. “He broke a direct order. Didn’t kill someone he was supposed to.”

  That shocked me. Not because he’d refused to kill someone, that part was easy enough to understand with Sam being so tenderhearted. But that he’d been ordered to in the first place, and that the penalty had been so steep for refusing.

  “Is that common for angels to be ordered to kill?t si {to n>

  “You’d be surprised,” Adam muttered.

  “Has Sam done a lot of killing?”

  “It’s my turn next.” I started to get tired of the convention, but it was still more interesting than any other conversation I’d ever had with him, so I simply waited for his next question. “Where is your family?”

  It surprised me that his questions so far had been much more mundane than mine. “My brother has an apartment not too far from Sam’s place.”

  “What about your parents?”

  “It’s my turn,” I shook my head. “Did Sam do a lot of killing?” I pressed and he nodded.

  “He was the angel of death for a long, long time,” he replied in a subdued voice.

  Angel of Death. It was so hard to reconcile that image with the sweet, kinda clueless man I’d come to know. “I guess that’s why he felt entitled to kill Weatie,” I murmured.

  “The guy who attacked you?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, he said he judged him and couldn’t allow him to hurt others.”

  “Good old Sammy, always the hero.” Adam raised his drink in a salute and drained the glass.

  “Is that what you used to do too? Judge the quality of men’s souls?” I tried to put the same inflection into my words that Sam did.

  Adam chuckled at that. “No, I was a soldier. Just a lowly peon in the immortal scheme of things.”

  “Oh… so you weren’t the patr {’

  “Goats?” He quirked a brow at me and I just shrugged. “No, that’s Aramiel.”

  “You’re teasing me.”

  “Yes,” he smiled without the usual note of sarcasm and I was struck again by how beautiful he was. When he wasn’t being a total ass.

  “Who’s Raziel?”

  Just as quickly his face became shuttered and dark, the smile completely fading from not only his lips but his eyes as well. “It’s my turn. Where are your parents?”

  I didn’t like the evasion and I liked the change in topic even less but I answered as quickly as I could. “My mom lives in California and I have no idea where my dad is.”

  “Why not?”

  “No, it’s my turn. Who is Raziel?”

  “This is a stupid game.” Adam rose to his feet and I blinked at the sudden shift. Was h
e leaving? Obviously that Raziel person was persona non grata where he was concerned but I had no idea why. For all the protestations over Adam sticking his nose where it wasn’t wanted, I found I didn’t want him to leave yet.

  “Wait, don’t go. Let’s try an experiment,” I suggested, setting down my drink and rising to my feet as well.

  That caught his attention. “What kind of experiment?”

  “Will you teach me what you did with my head? How to heal?” It stood to reason I’d be able to do it too with the Grace.

  “Nothing to teach really, but alright.” He crossed the room to the kitchen and picked up a knife from the {nift< dish drainer, slashing it across his forearm before I had an inkling of what he had in mind.

  “Adam!” I snatched up the dishtowel and pressed it to his bleeding arm. “What the hell are you doing?”

  “You need something to practice on, right? Watch me, sweetheart.” He pried the dishtowel away from the wound and cupped his hand a few inches above. While I watched, a soft glow emanated from his outstretched hand, and the cut began to knit together before my very eyes.

  “Wow,” I murmured, impressed. Of course I still had no idea how he’d done it.

  “Okay, now it’s your turn.” Adam picked up the knife and slashed again and I took a moment to quell the protest that immediately rose to my lips.

  “I’m not sure what I’m doing,” I admitted, laying my hand over his arm as I’d seen him do. Why hadn’t he tried explaining it before he cut into his own arm? The sight of the blood was too damned distracting.

  “Concentrate, feel the energy from all around you, and push it from your hand. Think of it as bathing the wound in healing, soothing energy, the Grace will do the rest.”

  Taking a deep breath, I did as he asked, wondering if I imagined the feel of the energy gathering beneath my hand. But then the same soft glow began to emanate from my palm and I felt the Grace flow through me. I almost lost my concentration as I saw the wound start to heal. The rush was… incredible.

  “Holy crap, it worked!” I gasped when it was done. “And I really did that, you didn’t help at all?”

  “Nope, that was all you,” Adam grinned over { grn>

  “Wow, that was amazing! I’ve never felt anything like it!” A wave of dizziness went through me then and I reached out blindly to steady myself, catching hold of his arm. “Whoa… I think maybe I had too much to drink,” I murmured, waiting for it to pass.

  “Oh, shit, sorry. I forgot to tell you to ground yourself,” Adam apologized reaching out to steady me. “I wasn’t thinking. Here, close your eyes, take a deep breath with me.”

  I did as he instructed, feeling him take hold of my hands.

  “Picture roots like a tree extending from your feet down into the earth, so you feel strong and stable. That’s good, keep breathing, in… and out.”

  His voice was soothing and as I pictured the steadying image, the dizziness began to recede. “It’s better,” I reported, my eyes still closed, breathing with him.

  “Yeah, you’re okay.” His thumbs stroked over the backs of my hands, at once soothing and disturbing at the same time.

  My eyes popped open, surprised to find his face so close to mine. “How do I look to you?”

  “Fishing for compliments? You have very pretty hair,” he smirked.

  “No…” I pulled my hands from his. “I mean, do I look like a regular person to you or…”

  “You look like an angel.” The smirk was still firmly in place.

  “No, I’m serious.”

  “So am I. You have the same quality about you that our kind does, a soft golden glow.” His hand came up to lightly touch my face.

  Like a shiny new toy… that’s all I was to him, my mind insisted on throwing at me. “I’m feeling better now,” I mumbled, pulling away from him to go sit back down, conflicted by the sensations his touch inspired. Was it just my Grace reacting to his? Was it that allure he said all angels had? When he wasn’t being a smarmy bastard he was pretty damn appealing. But starting anything with Adam would be a recipe for disaster, wouldn’t it?

  “Super.” I thought I heard disappointment in his voice, but his face bore no trace of it as he rejoined me on the couch, refilling both of our glasses which emptied the bottle.

  “Can I see your wings?” I wondered aloud. Sam had refused me, something about pride being a sin but somehow I didn’t think that would bother Adam in the slightest.

  “Of course,” he agreed readily. Setting down the glass, his fingers worked at the row of buttons on his shirt, revealing the smooth expanse of chest.

  “Do you always need to take your shirt off?” I asked, puzzled. The other times he’d been fully clothed when jumping out of a third story window.

  “No, it’s just more impressive this way,” he grinned, letting the shirt fall to the ground. Quick like the snap of a fan, his wings appeared, filling my small living room. They were dark, nearly black, and they gleamed against his pale skin as he flexed them to their full extension.

  Impressive was right, I’d never seen anything like it. My hand reached up to touch them, but in a blink they were tucked away and gone.

  “Ah, ah, ah… this isn’t the petting zoo you know. If you want to touch me somewhere else though…” His voice was low and intimate, a playful smile on his lips, but there was a very real invitation in his eyes.

  The problem was I did want to touch him, even as I knew it was a horribly bad idea. Luckily, I wasn’t drunk enough to fool myself into thinking otherwise. Instead my hand reached for my drink, the ice cubes nearly melted, cupping it in my hands.

  “How does that work? Where do they go?” I asked instead.

  “No idea, they just do,” he shrugged, pulling on his shirt, but leaving it open. I wondered if he was deliberately trying to tempt me.

  “What was that glow that surrounded me, the other night when you were in the bedroom? And again tonight when the other angel appeared? Ben saw it too,” I changed the subject.

  Adam seemed unfazed by his ignored invitation. “Maybe you were just happy to see me?” he teased.

  “I’m serious Adam, I can’t go around glowing like that, people are gonna start to ask questions.” Ben already was, and our predicament came rushing back to me. “Ben {/fopredic’s already freaking out by what happened tonight.”

  “Do you really think Ben is the right guy for you?”

  “What kind of question is that?”

  “An honest one. How about an honest answer?”

  “I don’t know, who ever knows?”

  “There’s your answer then.” Adam sat back with a self satisfied smile.

  “What the hell does that mean?”

  “It means you’re not exactly M.F.E.O. if you don’t know by now that he’s the one.”

  “What’s M.F.E.O?” I stared at him blankly.

  “Made For Each Other. Doesn’t anyone watch movies anymore?” He gave a disgusted shake of the head.

  I caught the reference then, cute movie if a little schmaltzy. Somehow I hadn’t pegged Adam as a fan of Meg Ryan movies. “Do you really believe that?” Was he that much of a romantic? He didn’t seem the type.

  Something passed over his face, I thought it might have been pain but it was quickly replaced by a thoughtful look. “I used to.”

  “Yeah well, most of us in the real world have learned not to knock a good thing and I think this thing with Ben could be a good thing. A really good thing.”

  “Good enough is good enough, huh? I suppose I can understand that, for now.”

  I scowled at his over simplification of our relationship. I really liked Ben. Was it more than that? It was too early to tell, I only knew I wasn’t ready to lose him. “Ben is a good man.”

  {t>“I know that, I can see it every time he shows his face, he’s a real boyscout.”

  “Is that what his colors mean? For his soul?” I recalled the beautiful deep indigo that surrounded Ben.

  “Yeah, he’s a re
al peach,” Adam returned sourly, rising from the couch, his feet unsteady as he headed for the kitchen, returning with the bottle of sweet Malibu Rum. “How about we talk about something other than your boyfriend?”

  “You’re the one who brought him up,” I pointed out, accepting a drink right from the bottle and passing it back to him. I was gonna have a headache in the morning but I didn’t care. “I think I’m gonna tell him about me, about all of this.”

  A half shrug was given. “If you say so. I guess you’ll find out then, won’t you?”

  “Find out what?”

  “If it’s worth it.”

  I wasn’t tracking him. “Find out if what’s worth it?”

  “Breaking the rules for someone you care about.”

  “Breaking what rules?”

  “We’re not supposed to go around announcing ourselves to humans. Hence the whole keeping ourselves beyond the sight of man. Sam is gonna have to deal with some serious consequences once the heavenly host gets their thumbs out of their asses and decides what to do with him. Or me. I almost forgot Nathanael thinks I’m responsible,” he snorted.

  “Well, no one ever read me the rulebook.”

  “Pleading ignorance, huh? Good luck with that.”

  “What? You said you’re not one for following rules either. Why did you reveal yourself to me then?”

  “Because you’re not human anymore, Mercy, you’re fair game.”

  “What are they gonna do to you for thinking you gave me this Grace? That’s gotta be a hundred times worse than revealing yourself to a human, right?”

  Adam gave a careless shrug and I was surprised by his show of apathy.

  “Don’t you even care?”

  “They can’t do anything worse to me that what’s already been done.” He took a long pull from the bottle. “Let’s see what’s on the old telly.” Adam picked up the TV remote and switched it on, leaving me frowning over his last cryptic remark.

  Grabbing the remote out of his hand, I switched it back off again. “Hey, what’s so bad about this? You get to live forever, you get all kinds of cool powers…”

  “And I never get to see my family. Ever. They are forbidden to me for all eternity. You can’t even begin to comprehend what that’s like.” His eyes blazed with such heartbreak, I was at a loss for what to say.